I met Kalki for the first time in 2006 much before she became a celebrity transgender activist. The journalist curiosity in me attracted me to Kalki and we had a long chat sitting outside the Canniamara Library in Chennai. He told me his biggest dream of living as woman……Years later, when I returned to Chennai Kalki had transformed into a complete woman and leading activist among the transgenders in the city. Here is a re-cap of my chat with Kalki…..

 

“My biggest dream is to live as a woman, at least for a day,’’ said Kalki Sabari, a transgendered individual from Coimbatore. For the last twenty five years, the life of Kalki has been an unending struggle to manage a dual personality: the soul of a woman within a male physique. But this life-long ordeal has not debilitated her determination to pursue the best in her life.

From someone who was thought of as a puzzling character by her teachers and colleagues, Kalki has grown to become an activist for the transgendered community in India.

Kalki was born in an upper-caste family at Ambika Nagar in Coimbatore. Her parents named her Sabari, and this continues to be her legal name. Instead, she has adopted another name; that of Kalki, the tenth avatar of Vishnu in Hindu mythology.

Kalki received a good education in an English-medium school at Kodaikanal. Though Kalki was largely treated as a boy in the family as well as in school, she always preferred the company of girls.

Kalki’s teenage years were a horrible experience as the feminine side of her personality became increasingly pronounced. She was rebuked and molested by other students, and even by teachers. During her college days,she was always targeted by many groups of students. She was ragged and virtually hounded all the time on campus.

Struggling to come to terms with the trauma of all this ill-treatment, Kalki began to develop a clandestine relationship with eunuchs outside the campus. Every day, after the regular class hours, she would sneak out of the residential campus to join ‘‘her own people’’. Once outside the campus, Kalki would transform herself into a woman, clad in a skirt and blouse. However, while in college, she would dress like a regular boy.

Soon fed up with the drama of concealing her true self, one day Kalki confessed to her parents her yearning to be a woman. Her family was horrified, and hushed up the matter to protect themselves from disgrace. A month-long stint of psychiatric treatment followed, at VelloreMedicalCollege. Still, she remained ‘abnormal’ everywhere.

But Kalki was determined not to be deterred by all this, and therefore, pursued her studies seriously. She now holds an undergraduate degree in English Literature and a PG in Mass Communication. She also holds a diploma in Advanced English.

Having learned from her bitter experiences, she decided to fight for the cause of transgendered people, who are considered as outcastes by the society. In 2005 she launched the magazine, Sahodari, in Tamil. Since most of the contributors are eunuchs from the transgendered community, the publication stands out as a pioneering attempt in India to allow the voice of the community to be heard. The magazine has now become a platform for the transgendered to share their feelings amongst themselves. It is now freely distributed amongst the transgender community in Coimbatore and also other places nearby.

‘‘The public society is insensitive to our feelings. Even the media target us for all the wrong reasons,’’ rues Kalki. ‘‘We behave arrogantly just to protect ourself,’’ she says. Kalki maintains close contact with the transgender community all over the world. Recently a website (www.sahodari.com) has also been developed for this purpose.

Kalki discovered dance as a medium through which she could reconnect with her true self. It is evidently more than a passion for her. Right from her school days, she has given numerous performances and won many prizes.

Fascinated by Indian dance mudras and western dance movements, she has developed her own unique style of dance, which she terms ‘‘freedom of soul’’. She is deeply engaged in research to progress her art. She claims that this new artform will be able to heal men and women; particularly those belonging to the transgendered community.

First published on 21 May, 2006. The New Indian Express

Tags: , , ,